Kalyn: The Small Wins

Caring for a loved one with serious mental illness is a journey marked by uncertainty, resilience, and the power of small wins. For Kalyn, a working mother of five sons, that journey began long before a formal diagnosis was ever made and continues to evolve today.

The Long Road to Diagnosis

Kalyn’s son was diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 18, but the signs surfaced years earlier. By 8th grade, she sensed something was wrong. In high school, getting him out of bed to attend school became a daily struggle, which she initially attributed to typical teenage defiance. Her family pursued a variety of programs and alternative schooling arrangements, including therapeutic boarding school, wilderness therapy, and early enrollment in community college. For a time, it seemed like they were making progress. However, it was not long until her son had his first of four psychotic episodes, followed by numerous hospitalizations.

Navigating Uncertainty

For Kalyn, the most distressing part was fear of the unknown. She found herself asking questions she couldn’t yet answer: What is psychosis? Will my son be okay? Will he have a meaningful life? 

As she educated herself about schizophrenia, her fear of the illness evolved into concern about stigma. She says, “I worried he would be misunderstood, rather than viewed as the intelligent, capable young man that he is.”

Fighting for Care: Barriers & Breakthroughs

Navigating the healthcare system only exacerbated these challenges. Long waits for inpatient psychiatric beds, limited access to specialized care, and stigmatizing providers left her family feeling isolated. Their turning point came when they found a coordinated specialty care program for first episode psychosis. With an integrated team providing psychiatric care, therapy, peer support, and family support, her son was finally able to engage in the treatment he needed to move forward and pursue his own goals.

Redefining Progress

Now 24 years old, his life is shaped not by a single outcome but rather a series of meaningful steps forward. He takes classes, volunteers, and works a part-time job centered around his love for animals. Smiling as she described her son calling an employer back, it is clear that while some might view it as a small step, that phone call was a moment of accomplishment. It was a moment where her son overcame years of obstacles and anxiety to achieve his goal: to be someone who contributes to society. Whether he is spending time with family, taking up boxing lessons, or running petting farms, each accomplishment is a small win that compounds to build purpose and a sense of belonging.

On Growth, Perspective, and Resilience

Recently, Kalyn’s journey came full circle when her fiancé’s son experienced a psychotic episode and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When fears of what this journey could be resurfaced, Kalyn made this time different. She recognized the signs of psychosis and was able to help him access care sooner, reinforcing the importance of early intervention.

Caregiving has taken a toll on Kalyn’s own mental health, increasing stress and anxiety as she balanced her roles as a mother, caregiver, and company executive. As experienced by many, her son’s diagnosis affected the entire family. Frequent traveling for his care, managing his schooling, and attending appointments meant less time for her other children. In trying to protect them, she initially kept them sheltered from his diagnosis. Over time, she learned to lean on her family, friends, and community. She prioritizes her own well-being through “little escapes” such as exercise and caregiver support groups. She emphasizes the importance of even one hour of self-care, especially in seasons of illness that bring storms beyond a caregiver’s control. Though she still worries about the future, she finds comfort knowing her son is surrounded by a supportive village.

Looking Back, Moving Forward: A Life in Caregiving

Reflecting on her journey, Kalyn emphasizes the importance of education, community, and advocacy. She wishes she had known earlier that she was not alone, and she didn’t need to have all the answers right away. She also recognizes the importance of involving the entire family in education and support, including therapy for their own experiences. With pride, she shares stories of how each of her children have found a way to connect with their brother over the years. These connections do not manifest spontaneously in families living with these diagnoses. Instead, they are relationships that family members work towards by choosing to learn more, love one another, and extend grace, year after year. Above all, she believes caregivers play a critical role in advocating for their loved ones with family, friends, healthcare providers, and administrators, especially when they are unable to advocate for themselves.

Now retired, Kalyn channels her energy into mental health advocacy, education, and support for other families. As a SeizingPsych board member, her expertise and passion have helped expand programming and strategy to advance caregiver support groups, provider education, and community partnerships. Going above and beyond, she also facilitates a caregiver support group for the Schizophrenia & Psychosis Action Alliance. As she helps others along this journey, she encourages caregivers to investigate First Episode and Early Intervention clinics in their areas, to recognize the importance of their own well-being, and to appreciate simple achievements in the spirit of her long-lived mantra, “Celebrate the present.” After years of lived experience, she advocates for coordinated care and a healthcare system that values effective, empathetic communication. For her, this work is both purpose and self-care. While uncertainty remains, so does hope. She says, “Recovery is not a linear process,” but with the right support, individuals with mental illness can lead productive, fulfilling lives. 

In this journey, small wins are big steps forward, and they deserve to be celebrated every day.